Friday, November 18, 2011

trips, falls and head whacks off for a few days

I was supposed to leave Lisboa today.
I can´t afford where I´m at; though
the people are nice.

Since the end of August i´ve been living in
hostels in Spain and Portugal.

Today, I was in a restaurant that I´ve gone to
for my first coffee, and bolo de arroz (rice cake).
It´s shaped like a tall muffin; thin.

I was seated at a table for the first time; I usually
stand. A delivery man came with his arms full and as
he was trying to open the door I got up to do it for him.

I tripped over a strap of my backpack, and went flying.
I landed on my knees. My hands (L) (and arms(mostly Left),
mostly broke my fall; they were like shock absorbers). And,
then my head wacked the floor on the right side hard.

Something very similar happened in February 2011. I had a
small seizure while taking a shower. It was a small bathroom
(Cork, Ireland), and I had touble getting up. That time my hands
and right side of my head...same area as today took the full impact.

My concern? The shower was running, and would get the floor wet:-
Shit, can´t let that happen:-

My arms couldn´t move me that day in February. I was stunned.
I finally laid there and let myself feel the injury....and
from somewhere deep down I said to myself ´you´ve got a stun
injury...get up,´ (beside the physical ones), and I struggled
with where was the best place for my hands...they kept slipping.
After several slips I found it and my way up.

When I finished the shower I took out my shower bag and took out
a spray bottle of iodine...looked into the mirror and covered the
injured area. I had very little ice, but used it all, and then
covered the injured area.

Since I came back from Vietnam I learned to carry my own first aid
kit as it were. Not much, antiseptic, band-aid and a roll of gauge.

I wanted to cry, but suppressed it. I always had a good relationship
with my children, particularly me daughter...I was a stay at home dad,
and raised her much in the early years. And my son is a wonderful human
being as well.

But, since my ex-wife and I got separated...eventually divorced I came
to realize that how good, nice and loving (and firm when they needed a
parent to be)all those nice times are gone...and it wouldn´t matter if I
couldn´t get up, and was found there.

Sometimes children realize and remember how nice you were after you´re
gone. That´s what I thought of that day, and others days when I had
seizures. If I texted that I had one there was no response. So I stopped.
It´s not their fault; it´s the lies and untruths that have been said by
their mother as happens in these things.

Today, I felt and feel worse now. The woman cashier at the restaurant
came over with a good ice bag, and sprayed antiseptic on the cut. She´d
make a good combat medic. There were a couple of areas. mostly a good hard

I told the man not to worry; I would be okay; I hurt myself, but I said
I have a ´stun injury.´

I went back to the hostel and in bed. Later I felt the pain in my right
knee. My right knee, right side of the head, and left wrist, and arm were
the shock absorbers today.

I got up a few hours later, and had trouble lifting and turning my left arm
and wrist. I didn´t want to see a doctor. God that costs money.

But in 1987 our family was moving into a new home in Vermont from Boston,
and I was unloading more things from the truck when I had waves of small
seizures, and fell of the back of the truck. I landed on my back and heard
three snaps or pops. I thought oh shit.

I tied and wiggled my toes, then fingers, arms and hands and got up. My
right elbow was sore I brushed it off mentally. In the morning when I woke
up my right arm was across my chest. I knew my elbow was broke. I went to
the local doc. He took Xrays and said no break. I said my elbow´s broke.

Later I went back to Boston, had Xrays...and my arm was in a sling:
it was broke.

Today, I finally went to the hospital, and after seeing the doc he told
me no breaks; i´m okay. He asked if I needed pain killers. I told him I
take seizure medication and don´t want to add to it, and that I was in the
Vietnam War...and that there are different levels of pain.

I felt more pain when I got the bill €160 cash.

If I´m off for a couple of days i´m healing. I feel, much worse than I did
that day in February 2011. nausea and more pain. it´s time for a good rest.

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